hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
