the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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