I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
