there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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