you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
