Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Life is so much better after having sex.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
