i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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