I wanna bring you to show and tell
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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