i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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