About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He uses pillows to masturbate.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
