The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
