I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
