literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
