ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
sex in a hospital.. check
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
