Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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