We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
