the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize