I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
