He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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