you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
