WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
