dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
