i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
