Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
