Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
