hell yes lets make some ravioli
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
