Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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