you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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