My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
