And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
