It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
