Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
