Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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