I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
