Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
