I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
