She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
