Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
