omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
