normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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