Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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