Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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