chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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