Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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