Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
