Already got asked if we're dating
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
