She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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