We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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