OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
