sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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